jeremy is two

Wow. Déjà vu.

Last night Jeremy demonstrated his child-like exuberance and um, creativity, yet again. It started when I heard the shower running. Then giggling. Then a crash. Then more giggling. I knock on the door and ask if I can come in, then I barge in without getting an answer (of course). There’s Jeremy. Clothed. In the shower. See he needed to was h his space invaders t-shirt and thought it would be easier to put it on and get in the shower, scrubbing it while it’s on. Sigh. I accused him of trying to shrink it to be perfectly skin-tight. He didn’t deny it either. Anyway the real fun came when he tried to take of the sopping wet shirt, I ended up having to help. Oh theatrics. I was not trying to kill you.


Later the fun of Jeremy bringing his belongings to live with mine continued – in the form of a lightsaber death match! I lost both my arms but having super regenerative powers that didn’t stop me. When my butt was cut off I decided that the fight was over, as it is the source of my power. Well secondary source. I have a special toe that I believe to be magical. Anyway Jeremy’s only regret was that I covered up the window in newspaper and Yonge Street missed the epic battle. Curses.

Life with Jeremy means constantly having my camera with me.

heh heh oops....... (with depressing update. sorry)

I just had a Clara moment that has not occurred since high school. Actually this may only be the second time its come about but I’m sure my family would disagree. When I was a teenager, 16 I think, my mother was dropping my sisters and I off at a tattoo parlor so Jenna could get another tattoo. As we were getting ready to get out of the car she told me that she needed my help running a few errands. I protested but they all insisted I go with my mum. I wanted to see my sister get another tattoo and so put up quite a hissy fit ended in ‘fine! Whatever’ and pouting such as the world has never seen. She told me to look out for a shop called ‘coppel’ as we drove around St. Catharines. Eventually I spotted it. George Coppel Jewelers. My parents we buying me my first ‘real jewelry’ ring from an actual jeweler. I felt like an ass.

So something just happened where this incident immediately popped into my head and made me laugh. It’s hot today. Damn hot. I am sweating like a lady of negotiable affection in a house of worship. So I am online looking for vertical air conditioners in any and all Toronto classifieds. I found one for $120! I emailed the guy to see if it’s available – it is! Great! I ask Jeremy what I should say, let’s get it tomorrow, lets do it. He says lets wait a couple days and look around. This is where I throw a minor fit. I actually pounded my keyboard and said that we’ve been talking about it for weeks but we never DO anything. I went on to complain that that’s what we do about everything and I need action –

And this is where he calls me a brat and tells me a brand new air conditioner will be here within hours. Heh. Thank you in-laws.

Well I had the grace to look sheepish.


BTW if anyone is interested in that other air conditioner, view the ad here. I feel bad getting the guys hopes up like that, he was very prompt and super nice. I don’t want to be a classified tease.


Sad but true update* The air conditioner did NOT fit our window. In fact NO vertical air conditioner will ever fit our window and portable is our last option. It is also the most expensive. As it will be another month before I get a paycheque the likes of which I recieved before I went on sick leave I am pessimistic about my survival. I’m scouring the classifieds but if you know of anything, let me know. I spent last night alternating between the bedroom, couch and living room floor (which was the coolest) and spritzing myself with a water bottle periodically because I could not sleep. Anytime I managed to dose off I would sit upright gasping for breath. As a result I am so irritable that if you see on the news that a crazed woman has started pushing slow walkers on Yonge Street into oncoming traffic it is probably me.

I still had to post the story because damn it's funny! Even if it ended in a night of sobbing and contemplating moving to Vancouver. Seriously. This morning I taped together pages of NOW Magazine (4 pages by 3 pages) with green electrical tape and covered one of my windows that still let in too much sun. Ghetto air conditioning. Hey it gave me something to do.

On a bright note Maria has posted about my first post-op pub night. I don't have the energy to post about it, my apartment is a sauna in case I wasn’t clear.

Sigh. The oppressive heat is the ONLY THING I actually hate about Toronto. Well downtown anyway.

claremy 2001

Many many years ago, during my and Jeremy’s first crack at couplehood, we went to his mother’s studio and had our likenesses etched on film. Since Jeremy moved in this weekend a great number of his things have accumulated in my apartment (it becomes ours when I get the first rent payment), and one of those is the aforementioned photos. How young we look! I was shocked. Denise also took some just of me but we’ll save those for another day shall we? Funny how I remember thinking ‘my arms are huge!’ when I first saw these. Now I look and say ‘see how good my arms looked!’. Ah life. Yer funny.

Anyhoo I can’t get over how much Jeremy has changed. When I first saw him here in Toronto two years ago I thought he hadn’t changed a bit (apart from the little beard) but looking back at these – wow! No offense honey but you looked like a bit of a goober. A cute goober tho. We look like kids! I guess we were but we didn’t think so at the time.

Unfortunately the missing picture was probably the best one. Or rather the most flattering one of Jeremy since it’s missing from his copy. As you can see from the first picture he hasn't changed THAT much. He’s a preener that boy.

back to the ol' grind. soon.

So I stopped by work yesterday and surprised everyone. The overwhelming happiness to see me did wonders for the ol’ ego. But man I can’t believe how nervous I was heading up that elevator. It feels like I’ve been away forever. My official return date has been set (June 5th) and I’m excited. Worried yes. What if I’m too tired and can’t handle it? What if I’m slower mentally and won’t know until faced with dilemmas that normally would be my forte to solve efficiently. Huh. You know pulling off that sentence has reassured me somewhat. I guess blogging has its practical purposes. Brain exercise. Although the written word has never been a problem for me. I can get very tongue tied in person ad I um, like a lot. But if I did that before than no one will probably even notice. I’m hoping I can use this whole experience to my advantage. And by advantage I mean towering menacingly over people who refuse to obey my rules of the reception area and making that 'you’re dead’ neck slice. It’s much more convincing when your neck has a slice out of it.

Mwah ha ha….

claremy hearts the zoo

On Friday Jeremy and I trekked on out to the zoo. Oh what fun. I’m telling you, if you want to have a good time at the Toronto Zoo, take my boyfriend with you. The boy knows the zoo like the back of his hand. He knows the animals BY NAME. He watched them grow up. He is very excited for the day when he can be a retired volunteer that wanders around the zoo all day answering questions. He’d do that now if he could. Once I’m back at work and have money (as I haven’t got a dime from EI you bastards) we will become members. We couldn’t do the whole zoo as I still am not 100% stamina wise, but if we were members we could go for quick jaunts and such. Nice. I cried when I saw the elephants. And Jeremy made fun of me until we went to see the bears and he got all choked up watching them play for 20 minutes. Ah the zoo.


This weekend we went to my parent’s farm for firework fun. I have never laughed so hard in my life. The wine had been freely flowing for some time and my insane father sets up the fireworks pot about three feet from where we were all sitting. The men were all standing together, and you could hear things waft over from their huddle like ‘it’s not so hard to make nitro glycerin’ from my scientist brother in-law. Seriously, yikes. Ah, fam.

i need your opinion...

...On a very important matter.

Which pair of sunglasses looks better on me? The pair on the left or the pair on the right? One pair is ages old and I bought a new pair yesterday. But now I can't decide which ones I like better. I've honestly been trying them on all day (and last night) and this is driving me crazy. My outdoor experiences hinge on this choice people!!



Jeremy says using two exclamation points is dirty. Really!??!?!!!

Ahahaha.

hunh. where am i...

I think mayhaps my brain is not quite working. Even tho I now have internet at home I don’t post on the weekends. It’s a little vacation I guess. The last two days have felt like the weekend. When I wake up I feel no urge to post, while on weekdays (usually) I feel the pull of routine drag me over to the computer and start my thought processes thoughting. Thinking. Yikes. Maybe it’s something thyroid, or rather non-thyroid related. But maybe I’m just pulling out the cancer card again in a desperate attempt to maintain readers without actually posting something worth reading. Meh. I feel like just laying on the couch and reading romance novels. Maybe watch a little Days of Our Lives. Gasp! Is that the time? It’s almost on.

I’ll try to come up with something good later. Maybe after I shower I’ll be more clear-headed. Hmmm. I wasn’t going to shower today but what the hell. Just for you.

i heart shatner

You must buy William Shatner’s Has Been album. Seriously. Go. Now. I am grooving to it as I type. It’s a spoken word cd. So. Great. Must. Listen. If you have any love in you for William Shatner you need to own this.

Thank you Hayley.

the deadliest couple this side of the galaxy

Aerik so graciously provided me with a means to design the superhero I wished to become once I’m radiated with a creature of some sort. The Hero Machine. Several hours and many heroes later I had forgotten why I originally went to this glorious machine. But I had created a sexy alien bounty hunter couple - Ixclara III and Ninjeremy 12. And yes all of my creations have to have my name in it. Jeremy thinks it’s narcissistic but I just think it’s a fabulous name. He shouldn’t complain tho, at least I gave the guy his name. He was almost Lord Clarington OmegaBuff.

Anyway Ninjeremy 12 is the best tracker in the business - there is no escaping him. He will hunt you down like a boar-wolf. However it’s his common-law smizmar that does the actual catching. Using a combination of her feminine wiles and kick-ass firepower Ixclara III always gets her um, entity. No one is safe from this luscious antennaed duo. Not even you! So watch out. Although you'd probably enjoy the experience. I mean look at her! And him. Mmmm.

clarameleon

So I have to wait until September to be radioactive. Bummer. I was really hoping to be cancer free this summer but I’ll just have to settle for thyroid free. On the other hand this gives me more time to decide what creature to smuggle into the isolation room with me. Y’know for super powers. I’m not so much into the whole spider thing. At least for me. Suggestions are welcome. I’m thinking a chameleon tho. If nothing else I’ll always match...

...everything.

welcome back scrapper

Wow Jeremy and I have just taken a step forth in our relationship. Brown Bear has moved in. Brown Bear is Jer’s (creatively named) life-long companion. I first met Brown Bear in University. There he sat, atop Jeremy’s Thundercat’s sheets. Just one look. That’s all it took. I fell in love. Of course that was before I found out that if Brown Bear and I were in a burning building I would only be rescued if it were on Jer and Brown Bear’s route out. Sigh. Welcome to my home you furry bastard. Well previously furry. He’s been well hugged. Seriously tho I’m thrilled to have Brown Bear move in, I’ve been after Jeremy to bring him for AGES. When he came yesterday I was so excited, then regretful (as Jeremy started acting 2), then satisfied (after I got so mad I flicked Brown Bear in the head and Jeremy look horrified but did calm down). I think things will work out just fine.

Plus I got one of my stuffed animals back that Jer commandeered some time ago.

*update* Jeremy is THRILLED that Brown Bear is now 'an internet celebrity'. I'm thrilled that Jeremy thinks being featured on my blog makes one a celebrity. Win-win.

clara two smiles

Hee hee. That’s what my sister suggested we call me now. I like it. Like Jacob two two. Or something. Anyway it’s not too bad eh? I know I went on and on about wanting a scar and I DO – but a wound is another matter. I was surprised at how self-conscious I was going out in public. I’m sure rejoining society in general after being holed up in a hospital for a week had something to do with it but I actually wore a turtleneck yesterday. A TURTLENECK! And it was beautiful out. Sigh. Ah well. Later in the evening I went out in a pretty low cut top to make up for it. And until the cashier at Rabba glanced down at Milo’s exit wound I forgot about it entirely. That’s progress baby.

you've got ball and chain

I had some interesting mail waiting for me upon my return home. Some ebay stuff, some bills, MANY many cards and even a luverly package from Susan which included Trauma Teddy. He sits on my desk and keeps an eye on me….hee.

Also in my mail was a first for me – the census!!! Yes folks I proudly participated in the 2006 census this morning. You can do it online. Heh. Anyway based on the census questions Jeremy and I are *gasp* COMMON LAW PARTNERS!!!! Shudder. I don’t like this appellation. It makes me think of she-mullets and camaros. I know this is a personal bias of mine but I can’t help it. I grew up near Welland. Just kidding. Not really. Welland in the 80’s was not pretty and you know it. Anyway according to the 2006 census Jeremy is my ‘opposite-sex common-law partner’. I think you can still send gifts. Do they have showers for that? I told him I was going to introduce him as my common law husband. He looked horrified.

c is for clara who wasted away

Or is it for calcium? Either way I’m back, barely. I was discharged on Monday but went back on Tuesday and they just let me out again. I’m hoping this is it because you would not believe how sick I am of the hospital. Not that everyone wasn’t lovely...but still. That’s quite enough. As Jer posted (less cheekily than I expected), I had a problem with my calcium. Hypocalcaemia to be exact. So basically I had to hang around to hospital for over a week in case I stopped breathing, or something. It wouldn’t have been so bad if it wasn’t for the damned IV. It pinned me in place so to speak. I still have bruises. Actually I have many, many bruises (4 IV’s and 14 needles). So tired. So sore. So happy to be home. Hopefully it’s for good this time (if my levels drop i.e. tingling in face, I have to go back). They took the stitches out and you can barely notice it!! I’m pissed! Once the scabs are gone I’ll post a pic. Wow I think that’s the first time I’ve posted the word scab. Scab scab scab. Haha gross.


luverly pic from gashlycrumb tinies

CLARA UPDATE!

Well folks, the moment you have all been waiting for is here..... I, Jeremy, am guest blogging. Please be kind as I have never done anything quite like this.

Now down to business. Clara's surgery went really well, there were no complications, the lymph nodes were all clean, no spread of the cancer...textbook operation. The post-op is a different story though. Clara was supposed to be discharged friday morning but her calcium levels (calcium in essential in your body's electrical system) dropped drastically and she had to be put on an IV two nights running. This is not all together unexpected since the parathyroid (which control the calcium levels) are attached to the thyroid they can become "bruised" during surgery and take a few days to recover. As it stands right now they are saying she may be able to come home Monday morning. Not to worry though because Clara looks fantastic, is in wonderful spirits, and dying to get back home to post pictures of her scars (all i know how to do is type).

I'll try to keep you all up-to-date, Jeremy

all she wrote

Tomorrow’s the big day. So this’ll be the last post for awhile. Well a few days anyway. Who knows maybe I’ll be up and typing away the day I come home from the hospital. Maybe I’ll audioblog garbled morphine induced messages straight from my hospital bed! Will they give me morphine? I hope so. I had some when they took my appendix out and it was sweet.


I’m getting nervous. About everything that tomorrow’s event signifies the start of. But also just tomorrow in of itself. Surgery isn’t quite my idea of a good time. Not when I’m involved. You all know I’m looking forward to a badass scar. That would make this all worthwhile. And being cancer free I guess that’ll be nice too. What if my scar is minimal? What if it fades to nothing and the one thing I’m most looking forward too (besides being waited on hand and foot for several weeks) is a mere afterthought. Or – horrors – what if once I see the scar I feel so alienated by my own reflection I change my whole 'scars are badass' outlook? Many anime heroes/villains would never be the same!



I can’t even fathom it. Sigh. Anyhoo here are some pictures of me, and my various features, to comfort you in the cold, black days of claralessness ahead.







And of course, for the last time EVER - my neck.

Uncut.



See you in a few my lovelies. Mwah.

jertastic

Last week I found a new addiction over at Aerik’s blog. Facial recognition celebrity matches at Myheritage.com. Holy hours wasted batman. I had fun with all my pics, but nothing was so spectacular that I felt the need to share with you. Jeremy, on the other hand, was extremely pleased with his. He requested – nay demanded, that I post them. Yes my baby has much in common with these delicious dudes. Apparently.



I had been talking about this thing for days and I couldn’t even get him to grunt in acknowledgement. Then as soon as these boys pop up he was “amazed at how accurate this is”. Ah. I guess I’m just bitter because I had to do it ten times before Drew Barrymore came up and yet I got Hugh Laurie twice. What up?!?

beer & tequila (maybe some nachos)

Just to make things easier, this is what I am wearing today. Well not right now, I have a blazer on and work shoes but that is what I will look like when at the wolf & firkin (downstairs)tonight. Some of you have never met me, some just aren’t that bright. KIDDING!!! Kidding, you’re all very special. And smart. S-M-R-T!

Margaret, whose idea this was, ran into my surgeon last night (yes they run in the same social circles – she’s FANCY!) and he gave his permission for me to get drunk tonight. Wahoo! I will still take it easy as I do NOT want to get a cold and have to postpone this whole thing, but it’s nice to know the guy whose cutting me open said it’s cool. Well I don’t know that he said ‘cool’, but he might’ve. He’s pretty laid back.

how much does this rock?

Too much.

Saw this at is Spock is enough and HAD to share it with you.

I printed it and put it on my door, I suggest you do the same.

don't look at me i'm a fatty!

Jeremy gained twenty pounds and is a bit sensitive about it. So naturally I thought I’d share it with you all. It’s adorable really.


Last night we were playing headbands at the in-laws. Like twenty questions but with unlimited questions and the answers can be severely misleading because it’s more fun that way. Anyway Jeremy was Smokey the Bear and he asked if he was based in reality. Everyone said no, but I piped up that I thought it was (like Winnie the Pooh). Everyone thought it was HILARIOUS and laughed heartily at me or called me special. Jeremy went to the Smokey Bear website, I’m sure to have proof that I was a wrong, and there it was – VINDICATION!!! Smokey was “based upon an actual baby black bear that was found alone, charred, and scared after a devastating wildfire burned through New Mexico”. HAH. I mean, poor bear. I wasn’t a graceful winner either. As soon as I read that sentence I yelled BOO YA! Then I pointed at each person and called them arrogant bastards. Yep I’m a real sweetheart. Classy.


BTW - New pics at grinchala.