Wednesday, March 8, 2006

bad kitty

You all first met Milo last year and followed along in his further adventures . Well we finally know what he is.

He is a bad bad kitty.

He’s cancer.

Ye heard me. He’s a naughty carcinogenic nodule and will not be tolerated!! That being said I’m using him to by best advantage while I’ve got him. I no longer have to feel guilt when passing my all the outstretched homeless hands on Yonge St. now a simple ‘you think you got it bad….’ Resolves the whole situation quickly and painlessly. For me. Hah. I was tempted to use it a minute ago, when a creepy guy was hitting on me. If he had asked ‘what’s new’ I would have said ‘well I’m cancerous now’. And that would be that. Sigh, well maybe next time. As I said before I’m using him to my advantage while he’s here. I’ve already gotten a box of godiva’s and
Maria, Elo and Connie are buying me drinks on Friday. Like they’re gonna make somebody with cancer buy their own drinks. Hey if I play this right the other patrons will be buying all three of us drinks. I’ll try ladies. Anyhoo I know that after treatment's all said and done (thyroid cancer surgery is 97% curative) I’ll have a lifetime of hearing Jeremy say ‘ you survived cancer, you’ll survive this’, whenever I whine about ANYTHING EVER. So I’m getting my kicks in now.

I’m looking forward to a cool scar. Hard as some of you may find it to believe, I have wanted a cool scar since I was 11 and I saw
Kuffs with Christian Slater. Did you know he hates that movie so much he’s bought copies just to smash them? Really. Anyway in the movie he gets a bullet wound and shows the healed scar. I fell in love at that moment. With the scar, not him. Now I get a neck one. Although I’m going to try and convince the doctors to make an incision that's my first name in cursive writing. How wild would that be? I doubt they’ll go for it. They’ll be all ‘standard procedure dictates...’ and ‘are you high?!?’ or ‘seriously, what’s wrong with you?’. Been there done that.

As you can see I’m taking a positive, droll approach to this new development. I hope I don’t offend anyone but really, it’s my cancer and I’d rather have laughter in my life then anxiety. So poo. If you do want more info about thyroid cancer, check out the
endocrine web and, the thyroid cancer survivors association.

So there it is, all the news that’s fit to surgically remove.

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