Well now that I’ve calmed down a little I think I’ll explain hypoparathyroidism in greater detail. I want to be a good source of information in case any other unlucky soul is googling this and comes across the victory dance. We don’t just want to leave them rants to find. Ok. Hypoparathyroidism simply put is - having too little parathyroid hormone, which causes abnormal blood levels of calcium and phosphorus. Calcium and phosphorus are important body minerals. They form the mineral component of bones, and they exist as charged particles called ions in the blood and inside cells.Parathyroid hormone (PTH) regulates the amount of calcium and phosphorus in bone and blood. PTH is made by four small parathyroid glands located in the neck, behind the thyroid gland. Hypoparathyroidism is the disease caused by a lack of PTH. Blood calcium levels fall, and phosphorus levels rise. Low blood calcium levels may cause symptoms such as tingling in the lips, fingers, and toes. It may also cause muscle cramps or spasms (source - Medlineplus). I found this section from The Complete Thyroid Book a pretty helpful analogy:
“A reasonable analogy is to imagine the normal calcium level as the level of
water in bathtub. Since there is no PTH, the bathtub drain is wide open, as the
kidneys permit unrestrained calcium losses though the urine. By the taking
vitamin D analogs and calcium tablets, the ‘faucet’ is kept wide open as well,
keeping the ionized calcium level normal, just as the running faucet would keep
the water level normal in the bathtub in spite of the open drain.”
So there you go. My fun night didn’t end there though. I got to spend the night sobbing and waiting for the locksmith and police. Upon returning home from my super news at the doctors I discovered that someone had tried to break into my apartment. I don’t think they actually went into the apartment, who knows. But the lock was totally broken and everything was right where is should be. It cost a pretty nice chunk of change though and that sucks. Especially since I’m in the much-coveted position of being back at work so I have no EI benefits, but I won’t be paid for 2 more weeks. Man I feel like Eeyore. Sigh. Oh and as the locksmith was leaving he turned and remarked 'man so I guess you guys don't have air conditioning eh?'. No. No we don't. Thanks for noticing.