I’m hitting all the long shots.
Thyroid Nodules - 75 % of the population have thyroid nodules. Okay that’s a majority I can deal with that. No biggie.
Thyroid Cancer - Far less than 1% of all thyroid nodules are malignant. Huh. Well that’s fairly rare wouldn’t you say? So me being in this group of lucky sods means that I need a thyroid operation. Ok moving on…
Hypoparathyroidism - Much less than 1% of thyroid operations (result in permanent damage to the parathyroid). FUCKING EH. Suckit.
Source - endocrineweb.com