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This morning while I was walking to work I passed by a young hoodlum looking teen. He had a hoody, with the hood pulled far over his face, and baggy jeans that looked near to falling off him.

You all know the type.

Punk.

As I got closer to him I realized he was gyrating oddly. I sped up and gave myself a wider berth around him; I didn’t need to know, I was just trying to get to work.

Turns out he was spraying himself with Axe body spray. Yep. He had this look of utter self satisfaction as he emptied half a can all over his person in a strange dance. I was completely taken aback – until I remembered all those commercial for the ‘axe effect’ where women are mobbing men who have doused themselves, sometimes two cans at a time, with this stuff. Then it all made sense. This poor lad obviously completely bought into the ad campaign, you could almost hear ‘aw yeah, the ladies will be loving this’ in his head. Sadly the coughing fit I had as I passed seemed to disabuse him of this notion. Ah well.

Edit* Upon further contemplation I realize this guy was young enough that when I walked by coughing and flaring a nostril at him he was more likely thinking ‘Excuse me ma'am? You might want to get out of the way before you break a hip when you’re knocked down by hordes of hot girls who want my irresistibly scented self.’