Showing posts with label dreams. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dreams. Show all posts
Friday, May 9, 2008
...le sigh.....
Melancholy. That bittersweet sensation washes over me. So achingly familiar, I feel we are old friends who though years have passed can pick up right where we left off. Le sigh is right.
I had a dream last night. It was bizarre; there was a rigid futuristic society. Walking off the beaten path could get you, well beaten. I was making a painting about two women in love (with each other) and it was beautiful but drawn without great skill (as my paintings are, what they lack in talent they make up for in exuberance). But I hid it, as I hid my escape route (naturally I had one in case the soldiers/thought police whatever came – which they did).
I can’t remember too much more. I do know I had a friend, who was helping me but he disappeared. I can’t remember if he got caught or betrayed me, all I remember is running. Running and hiding. At one point I was at a graveyard and the mud was so deep I could barely walk.
It’s one of those dreams I can’t shake. When your mind has a moment to drift it goes there, though you try not to think about it. It fades, as dreams naturally do, and you feel bereft. It puzzles you, because you are missing something you never actually had. All you can do is heave a sigh and hope you forget faster, even though you awoke vowing to remember.
Le Sigh, ubiquitous Lord of the Sighs.
Friday, July 27, 2007
dream a little dream
I’ve been worried lately. I’ve been having mundane dreams. Like dreaming that the coffee machine broke at work or I was making toast.
Shudder.
I normally have these fantastical epic dreams. I had a horrible feeling that the monotony of 9-5 office work had finally reached my subconscious and penetrated it with thoughts of bills and social obligations. I was horrified.
Thankfully last night I was shown that my core is still as odd as ever, I suppose these things never change, if you don’t let them. I never will.
I was at a house party and this shady looking pair, a man and a woman, were arguing over who I was. I ignored them; I was waiting for Jeremy to meet me. At one point they were like ‘it’s her, grab her!’. They pinned me up against the wall; I wasn’t alarmed I was just like ‘huh?’. They asked me if my name was Oaxhitzal or something strange and without thinking I corrected them: “Quetzalcoatl?” I said. The man looked at the woman in triumph and she rolled her eyes. From that point on the man wouldn’t let me out of his sight. I was bound in chains and dragged across the countryside – many misadventures ensued. Apparently I was the reincarnation of this deity and would lead him to a great treasure/power. I never did find out what it was. Jeremy showed up at some point (looking very buff and clean cut); he had a vicious looking gun rifle thing and was trying to rescue me. Unfortunately the guy was too powerful so an all out attack wouldn’t work. So he followed behind, waiting for a moment to break me free and leaving little signs so I would know he was there. At one point we managed a passionate kiss but that attempt was foiled too.
I’m not sure what happens next because I was awoken by the heavy breathing of Optimus Prime yet again. Unfortunately that hasn’t gotten old yet. At least for Jeremy.
I told him about the dream and now he thinks he’s a big hero. I pointed out that he never did rescue me. Still though, it was pretty heroic. I was a badass captive though; I kept attacking the dude (who kinda looked like a strung out drummer) whenever I got the chance and tricking him. It always got me a beating but hey, it’s a prisoner’s duty to try to escape. That’s what they say in all the ransom situations in the romance novels I read anyway.
Oh and before you all think I’m such Aztec god reborn I read about Quetzalcoatl in a romance novel once, so that’s where that came from. It was years ago though. Strange.
Shudder.
I normally have these fantastical epic dreams. I had a horrible feeling that the monotony of 9-5 office work had finally reached my subconscious and penetrated it with thoughts of bills and social obligations. I was horrified.
Thankfully last night I was shown that my core is still as odd as ever, I suppose these things never change, if you don’t let them. I never will.
I was at a house party and this shady looking pair, a man and a woman, were arguing over who I was. I ignored them; I was waiting for Jeremy to meet me. At one point they were like ‘it’s her, grab her!’. They pinned me up against the wall; I wasn’t alarmed I was just like ‘huh?’. They asked me if my name was Oaxhitzal or something strange and without thinking I corrected them: “Quetzalcoatl?” I said. The man looked at the woman in triumph and she rolled her eyes. From that point on the man wouldn’t let me out of his sight. I was bound in chains and dragged across the countryside – many misadventures ensued. Apparently I was the reincarnation of this deity and would lead him to a great treasure/power. I never did find out what it was. Jeremy showed up at some point (looking very buff and clean cut); he had a vicious looking gun rifle thing and was trying to rescue me. Unfortunately the guy was too powerful so an all out attack wouldn’t work. So he followed behind, waiting for a moment to break me free and leaving little signs so I would know he was there. At one point we managed a passionate kiss but that attempt was foiled too.
I’m not sure what happens next because I was awoken by the heavy breathing of Optimus Prime yet again. Unfortunately that hasn’t gotten old yet. At least for Jeremy.
I told him about the dream and now he thinks he’s a big hero. I pointed out that he never did rescue me. Still though, it was pretty heroic. I was a badass captive though; I kept attacking the dude (who kinda looked like a strung out drummer) whenever I got the chance and tricking him. It always got me a beating but hey, it’s a prisoner’s duty to try to escape. That’s what they say in all the ransom situations in the romance novels I read anyway.
Oh and before you all think I’m such Aztec god reborn I read about Quetzalcoatl in a romance novel once, so that’s where that came from. It was years ago though. Strange.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
i had a dream last night
It was bizarre. Terrible and wonderful, it (like so many of my dreams), made me feel that waking pulled me from another reality. And no I was not on drugs. When I have these I am certain I am supposed to write them down, which I do, but I don’t finish them. I don’t flesh them out, adding details and depth. I’m hoping to change that. There is no urgency once I have recorded the basics; if I have notes I can recall the dream, the story and the feeling it wrought.
My dream last night had me shifting perspectives (as usual) and when I jotted down the details to help me remember, they became a poem of sorts. Strange I know but the whole thing struck me in such I way that I felt I had to share. Though it is hardly my best work.
It was very sad. But so beautiful, I wish I could give you more details than the poem reveals. Mayhap in time I will finish this story.
Notes on a dream, night of May 30, 2007
First I was the mother,
Choosing men over my child,
Sending him away, alone.
Then I was the child –
My own friend, playing with ants
And imagining armies.
Then I was the woman,
Childless, finding my family in a lonely boy,
Loving him as his mother never could.
Finally I became the observer,
Watching the sweet and sad reunion of
True mother and child mistakenly born to another.
My dream last night had me shifting perspectives (as usual) and when I jotted down the details to help me remember, they became a poem of sorts. Strange I know but the whole thing struck me in such I way that I felt I had to share. Though it is hardly my best work.
It was very sad. But so beautiful, I wish I could give you more details than the poem reveals. Mayhap in time I will finish this story.
Notes on a dream, night of May 30, 2007
First I was the mother,
Choosing men over my child,
Sending him away, alone.
Then I was the child –
My own friend, playing with ants
And imagining armies.
Then I was the woman,
Childless, finding my family in a lonely boy,
Loving him as his mother never could.
Finally I became the observer,
Watching the sweet and sad reunion of
True mother and child mistakenly born to another.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
i have to do something this year that tops surviving cancer...
This is the year I actually attempt to realize my dream.
That’s right - I’m going to make a solid effort to get published. Therefore, as with anything I do, I need new toys. I would like a laptop and digital audio recorder. Jeremy has pointed out that they make accessories for iPods that can record voice but, as I don’t have an iPod that’s neither here nor there. Heh.
I’m hoping once we get a new place I can get my Grandfather’s desk out of storage and use it. So there I’ll be, sitting at my antique, sturdy German desk, playing back my audio notes and typing on my sexy new laptop. I can see it now. Then I’ll send something away to a publisher and they’ll love it and snatch it up. Then you’ll all see my name in the bookstores. Realistically it’ll be in the romance section. Hey stick with what you know. And by that I mean I know romance novels, not romance itself.
Ah-hem Jeremy.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)