Tuesday, December 19, 2006

urine happens to be very edgy

As you may remember, I was introduced to the 24 hour urine test this year. Joy. Well I’ve had to do a few more since then and I’ve become a bit of a pro. This last one threw me a bit though.

As I go to make my first ‘deposit’ I notice it’s a little differently designed than the others. Hmmm, I mused, maybe an improvement of some sort. Well 24 hours go by and I don’t notice a thing – until I go to bag it up and take it to the hospital. As soon as you turn it horizontal (the way it normally sits, I turn it vertically to fit it in my fridge), it leaks.

Yeah you heard me.

Leaks.

Urine jug. Leaks.

Not just a little cup either, this baby is holding 3 LITRES OF MY PEE!

It was slightly traumatizing. I got some on the carpet. My funny funny Jeremy asked if he should rub my nose in it. Hilarious. The subway ride was fright filled, people kept jostling us and I was so paranoid that everyone would smell the pee. When we arrived at Queen Station I breathed a sigh of relief and went to carefully heft the bag through the turnstile…

And my hand came away wet.

In a panic I set it down and told Jeremy in a furious whisper “it’s leaked through the bag!” He didn’t believe me until we lifted it up and saw a little puddle on the ground. Trooper that he is he took the bag from me for the rushed walk to the hospital. We handed it over to the lab tech with a warning, and she promptly ignored us got my pee all over her counter. That’s what you get for not paying attention lady.

I’m just glad it’s over and I won’t have to do it for, oh I dunno, maybe a month. Sigh. Not only did I never think I’d say ‘honey I got pee on the rug’ I surely never expected to be able to tell you guys ‘if you’re at Queen subway station and think you smell pee, that’s probably me’.

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