on the way to work...

Periodically I have to go to the hospital to get some blood work done (surgical mishaps and all that), today was one of those mornings. As I wandered down to the southbound trains at Wellesley station I heard water running. Tinkling more like. There was some guy, peeing against the payphone like a dog on a hydrant. Ridiculous! This was around 8am, there was quite a few people down there heading to work, and this wasn’t some homeless weirdo, it was a well dressed guy. I wish I had my camera. I would have been all “hey you wanna pee in public you’re gonna end up on the Internet buddy” click. And then everyone would cheer. Not really. But it would have been cool if I did.




When I got to the hospital I was greeted by balloons and many cheerful medical staff. My first thought was that they had missed me (it has been awhile), but it is in fact St. Michael’s Day! I got a free book light. It has St. Mike’s logo on it. Fun! I can use it next time I’m there and want to read at night so I can drown out my crazy roommates rantings. Double fun!

number two

And I don’t mean poo! I mean beading. I made a beauteous leaf lariat for my sis for her bday. Luverly isn’t it? Next up – something for MOI!! Because I’m worth it.


*Please don’t sue me L’oreal. I’m not worth it.

untitled bit of prose

"He was thirty years old. No young swain or avenging son. Those dreams were dead. He had made the decision long ago, as most of us do, to let go of childish fantasies, no matter how true, how blazing and pure and right they seemed. Because it hurt too much. To survive and stay present he had to let go.

Slowly he exchanged wishes for workdays, dreams for dollars. Because it hurt too much. He couldn’t stay sane waiting for fairies and dragons while balancing chequebooks and working overtime. He stopped staring at the stars, searching for a glimpse of something. Something big and secret, fantastic and grand. Something wonderful. It hurt too much."


Sad isn’t it? It nearly broke my heart to write it, almost like I was giving something away. Don’t worry though, methinks he may be in for a surprise….heh….

lego dreams

You know how if you play a video game for long enough you start dreaming about it? Maybe it’s just me, but that always happens to me. Well right now Jeremy and I are playing Star Wars Lego II and it’s leading to some interesting dreams let me tell you.

In the game everything is made of Lego. Everything. If you kill someone, or bust up the scenery, you’ll end up with a pile of Lego pieces. Very cool and very fun. Well last night I had a mundane sounding dream. I believe I was fishing, it was fall, maybe I was camping with my family, I can’t really remember. But we were ALL MADE OF LEGO! Everything was. It was kind of chilly in the air and when you exhaled you could see your breath – in the form of clear floating Lego pieces. Wicked. An interesting dream to be sure, though I’m unsure if I’m the victim of subliminal advertising because I am pretty tempted to go out and buy a bucket of Lego. Knowing Jeremy there’s probably one stashed away somewhere. Now I know where the box of Ninja Turtles is but no Lego….

Do you know he had the nerve the other day to tell me he “wasn’t one for toys”? Although thinking back that could have been dream Lego Jeremy saying that. It’s a little hazy.

sister shopping day

We pulled a ‘what not to wear’ for our eldest sister this weekend. On Friday my other two sisters made her try on everything she owned and ruthlessly yayed or nayed. Saturday they all came up to visit me and the real fun began (der). Various family members had pitched in for gift certificates and clothes cash for her bday and we headed to Winners with a mission. Armed with a list of needed clothing we scoured the aisles. Sure I saw some things I might have liked but truly picking out a wardrobe for someone else assuaged my shopping cravings.

The poor dressing room attendant looked slightly terrified when the four of us approached with our mountainous cart.

“Um, so about that six items only…”

We explained what we were doing and that we needed to see each thing she tried on. For approval and comedic commentary. They graciously let us take the whole damn cart in there. They even gave us one of those hanging bars on wheels to organize our load. Wonderful people at that Yorkville Winners. Anyhoo we worked out a great system, almost like an assembly line, all the while judging whatever she tried on. It was great. She’d open the door and you’d hear:

“No”
“No”
“Yes”
“It looks great, you’re buying it”
“No”
“Hell no”
”Yes”
“Sure, sure, we’ll put it in the maybe pile” yeah right.
“Who put this in here? Tie dye? Honestly.”
“Fabulous”

Ah, good times. It also make me realize how exhausting it must be to do that for a living. Those makeover shows make it look so easy.

We had so much fun that we’re doing it for MY birthday too! Can’t wait. I need more help with the getting rid of stuff than the buying new things. I have mountains of clothes. I keep getting rid of them (like 4 garbage bags at a time) but the pile never diminishes. I think they’ve figured out a way to multiply on their own. Be afraid.

centre & clara

I was going to a friends wedding and saw this wonderful street sign. First of all I can’t believe I got a clear pic through a windshield while driving through an intersection in rainy weather. Second of all…well isn’t it just peachy?

Just what the world needs.


More Clara.

Speaking of which… check out that hair! And white eyeliner! Pure awesomeness.

i did it!

My first project has been completed! Sure, it’s nothing fancy but I did it all by myself! I promised Ingrid earrings ages ago. Doesn’t she look luverly? I still have one more thing to make for someone else before I make one just for me. I think it’s more fun making things for other people though. We’ll see.



This morning, somewhere between awake and asleep, I was mentally composing what I thought was the most awesome blog entry ever. It was going to be a random string of clever and witty observances al la Monkey, titled ‘bum & order’ (like law & order). I have no idea now what it was about but judging by the title that’s probably a good thing. I’m curious as to what I was possibly thinking though.

What a strange brain I have.

on how clara goes overboard

Funnily enough, for someone who does things half assed most of the time I tend to go nuts with certain things. Until I lose interest. For instance when I found out about my thyroid cancer I ended up spending $300 on books and awareness merchandise that are know on a shelf somewhere. I do look things up sometimes but it’s not as vital as it seemed at the time.

Well I’ve recently decided that I’m going to make beaded jewellery, following in my sister’s footsteps. In true Clara style I didn’t just get a few beads and try it out first – oh no. I needed a FULLY STOCKED BEADERY before I would even get started. Over $200 later I’m all set. So maybe I’ll actually make something now.



I’m very 'all or nothing'. I remember once at a book sale I saw a stack of Heavy Metal magazines that I simply had to have. I had no money so begged Jeremy to get them for me. Well he couldn’t afford them all but I refused to take just a few, it was either the whole collection or none at all! So dramatic. Once I have my little heart set on something I can be quite stubborn. Fortunately I’m easily distracted so carry something shiny in your pocket and I’m very easier to get along with.

Speaking of shiny I even got Swarovski crystal beads – fancy!

2 drink maximum

Free at last! Yes I’m back, working and playing and inflicting myself upon the rest of the world. Apparently I am very sensitive to my medication and if I get dehydrated I can end up in the hospital. Coma or heart attack, take your pick. Though my heart did feel funny my money's on coma, because it starts with a C. Clara, cancer, calcium, coma – it just fits.

Anyhoo as a result of this I now have a self-imposed 2-drink maximum. And by self-imposed I mean Jeremy imposed. I had to fight for that second drink let me tell you. It occurs to me as I’m writing this, that that means I shall never get drunk again. This is okay by me. I’ve had my fun; it’s a relief really. I do however feel sorry for those of you who never got a chance to see drunk Clara. It’s a shame really. She was something else. Hilarious. She could go from hollering and ordering a round of shots to completely asleep in under 30 seconds. She was susceptible to peer pressure; if you indicated she couldn’t handle another drink she’d have two more, just to prove you wrong. Drunk Clara had a bit of a criminal streak too. Pylons, bar signs, whatever - if it seemed cool (and wasn’t everything?) she’d have to have it. She’d usually instruct others to get it for her, failing that she might attempt it herself. Really though she was good at talking others into doing things, as long as those others were drunk as well. University was a good time for this. Ah well, fare the well drunk Clara. So many good times, good stories. Too bad I don’t remember most of them.

Clara Update Courtesy of Guest Blogger #2

Greetings everyone in Clara Land... I am Hayley, sister of Jeremy. After being sick for about a week, Clara was kidnapped by her pseudo-in-laws and taken to the hospital on Saturday afternoon, where she was admitted for calcium-related complications. She's doing well in there (she tells me that her hospital tv has more channels than her home tv, so she's having a good time), and may be getting out as soon as tomorrow afternoon. From what I understand, she was put on a medication a few weeks ago that was meant to increase her calcium levels, but it did too good a job and she essentially OD'd on calcium. But maybe I'm wrong. No matter, I shall distract you all by telling you about the crazy woman we met in emergency.

I don't know her real name, so we'll call her Polly. Polly sat beside us (us being Clara, Jeremy and me) while we waited for the triage nurse. She told me many stories, but my favourite was when she told me that she was there because the doctors had put her on a medication that she was allergic to, and it had broken all of her bones. I was a little confused so I said "it broke your bones?", and she said "yes, they're all broken right now. They exploded". So about this time, the nurse comes over to ask everyone why they're there. "Polly" explained that the medicine had broken all of her bones, to which the nurse replied "yeah, that is very... VERY rare." and moved on to Clara. Apparently Polly later lay on the ground to stretch (or something equally odd), which led people to believe that perhaps every one of her bones were not in fact broken.

That's all I have... the plan is for Clara to be home by tomorrow afternoon.

clara in absentia

Me barfy, no bloggy. Sorry poodles.