from the newest thry'vors newsletter....

This is why Clara has so many damn pills...

Q6: Why do thyroid cancer survivors who have lost
parathyroid function take large doses of calcium and
Vitamin D?

A: The parathyroid glands secrete PTH, a substance that
helps maintain the correct balance of calcium and phosphorus
in the body. PTH regulates the level of calcium
in the blood, the release of calcium from bone, absorption
of calcium in the intestine, and excretion of calcium in
the urine. When the level of calcium in the blood falls
too low, the parathyroid glands secrete just enough PTH
to restore the blood calcium level.

Patients that have lost parathyroid function (such as
patients who underwent Total Thyroidectomy and did
not get a successful Parathyroid Re-implantation), they
have no regulatory process to correct calcium deficits and
develop chronic low calcium levels, therefore, require
large dose of calcium and vitamin D supplementation.

Full Newsletter Here

nobody knows the troubles i've seen...

Well now that I’ve calmed down a little I think I’ll explain hypoparathyroidism in greater detail. I want to be a good source of information in case any other unlucky soul is googling this and comes across the victory dance. We don’t just want to leave them rants to find. Ok. Hypoparathyroidism simply put is - having too little parathyroid hormone, which causes abnormal blood levels of calcium and phosphorus. Calcium and phosphorus are important body minerals. They form the mineral component of bones, and they exist as charged particles called ions in the blood and inside cells.Parathyroid hormone (PTH) regulates the amount of calcium and phosphorus in bone and blood. PTH is made by four small parathyroid glands located in the neck, behind the thyroid gland. Hypoparathyroidism is the disease caused by a lack of PTH. Blood calcium levels fall, and phosphorus levels rise. Low blood calcium levels may cause symptoms such as tingling in the lips, fingers, and toes. It may also cause muscle cramps or spasms (source - Medlineplus). I found this section from The Complete Thyroid Book a pretty helpful analogy:

“A reasonable analogy is to imagine the normal calcium level as the level of
water in bathtub. Since there is no PTH, the bathtub drain is wide open, as the
kidneys permit unrestrained calcium losses though the urine. By the taking
vitamin D analogs and calcium tablets, the ‘faucet’ is kept wide open as well,
keeping the ionized calcium level normal, just as the running faucet would keep
the water level normal in the bathtub in spite of the open drain.”

So there you go. My fun night didn’t end there though. I got to spend the night sobbing and waiting for the locksmith and police. Upon returning home from my super news at the doctors I discovered that someone had tried to break into my apartment. I don’t think they actually went into the apartment, who knows. But the lock was totally broken and everything was right where is should be. It cost a pretty nice chunk of change though and that sucks. Especially since I’m in the much-coveted position of being back at work so I have no EI benefits, but I won’t be paid for 2 more weeks. Man I feel like Eeyore. Sigh. Oh and as the locksmith was leaving he turned and remarked 'man so I guess you guys don't have air conditioning eh?'. No. No we don't. Thanks for noticing.

issue #1 - collectors edition!!

We all know that calcium is an important factor in regulating the body���s electrical system, and we all know that my body can���t hold onto calcium like the rest of you, due to some surgical misadventures.

What we all did not know, is that when my calcium is low I seem to be more susceptible to static electricity. This has presented most recently in a bout of low calcium. Subsequently I am terrified to open my filing cabinet. After living in fear and without any files for a few weeks I���ve come to the realization that I���m having a major moment in my life. This is the moment I realize that I���m special and have "super" abilities unlike anyone else. This would be the premiere issue of my comic book.

Naturally the first thing I have to work out is a costume. Done (note the socks, very necessary). Name ��� done. Behold The Great Statica!

Now I just have to figure out if I���ll be a Villain or Hero. Either way I will be ridding the world of bad doctors through MASSIVE STATIC CHARGES THAT EXPLODE THE HEART!!!

And I���m sure I���ll do other stuff too...

Update* Jeremy has pointed out that electricity powers generally mean Super Villain. So I guess I am The Great and Terrible Statica.

calcium dreams and crystal lake skies

I apologize (to myself and you all too I suppose) for being absent this week but I have felt like shite. It's all calcium related. If you don't know what I mean just search for all posts containing the word 'calcium' and that should fill you in.

I'm going to Niagara this weekend, it's been forever since I've been on the family farm so I'm looking forward to it. I will leave you with a homage to Friday the 13th; I must apologize again, for it is a repeat of the last Friday the 13th, which was only this past April. But it was utterly divine and clever and didn't receive nearly enough accolades.

It is of course a tribute to the man who embodies this day, my dear Jason Voorhees. We do love you Jason, though in my humble and sublime opinion there is no way you could ever beat Freddy Krueger if he was determined to best you. Unless you somehow got Nancy to help you. Maybe then. But I digress, Happy Weekend my luverlies.

"There once was a fellow named Jason
Whose pastimes included girl chasin,
It's not what you think
It wasn't his dink -
But a machete that gave them affection! "

Clara Update Courtesy of Guest Blogger #2

Greetings everyone in Clara Land... I am Hayley, sister of Jeremy. After being sick for about a week, Clara was kidnapped by her pseudo-in-laws and taken to the hospital on Saturday afternoon, where she was admitted for calcium-related complications. She's doing well in there (she tells me that her hospital tv has more channels than her home tv, so she's having a good time), and may be getting out as soon as tomorrow afternoon. From what I understand, she was put on a medication a few weeks ago that was meant to increase her calcium levels, but it did too good a job and she essentially OD'd on calcium. But maybe I'm wrong. No matter, I shall distract you all by telling you about the crazy woman we met in emergency.

I don't know her real name, so we'll call her Polly. Polly sat beside us (us being Clara, Jeremy and me) while we waited for the triage nurse. She told me many stories, but my favourite was when she told me that she was there because the doctors had put her on a medication that she was allergic to, and it had broken all of her bones. I was a little confused so I said "it broke your bones?", and she said "yes, they're all broken right now. They exploded". So about this time, the nurse comes over to ask everyone why they're there. "Polly" explained that the medicine had broken all of her bones, to which the nurse replied "yeah, that is very... VERY rare." and moved on to Clara. Apparently Polly later lay on the ground to stretch (or something equally odd), which led people to believe that perhaps every one of her bones were not in fact broken.

That's all I have... the plan is for Clara to be home by tomorrow afternoon.

CLARA UPDATE!

Well folks, the moment you have all been waiting for is here..... I, Jeremy, am guest blogging. Please be kind as I have never done anything quite like this.

Now down to business. Clara's surgery went really well, there were no complications, the lymph nodes were all clean, no spread of the cancer...textbook operation. The post-op is a different story though. Clara was supposed to be discharged friday morning but her calcium levels (calcium in essential in your body's electrical system) dropped drastically and she had to be put on an IV two nights running. This is not all together unexpected since the parathyroid (which control the calcium levels) are attached to the thyroid they can become "bruised" during surgery and take a few days to recover. As it stands right now they are saying she may be able to come home Monday morning. Not to worry though because Clara looks fantastic, is in wonderful spirits, and dying to get back home to post pictures of her scars (all i know how to do is type).

I'll try to keep you all up-to-date, Jeremy

c is for clara who wasted away

Or is it for calcium? Either way I’m back, barely. I was discharged on Monday but went back on Tuesday and they just let me out again. I’m hoping this is it because you would not believe how sick I am of the hospital. Not that everyone wasn’t lovely...but still. That’s quite enough. As Jer posted (less cheekily than I expected), I had a problem with my calcium. Hypocalcaemia to be exact. So basically I had to hang around to hospital for over a week in case I stopped breathing, or something. It wouldn’t have been so bad if it wasn’t for the damned IV. It pinned me in place so to speak. I still have bruises. Actually I have many, many bruises (4 IV’s and 14 needles). So tired. So sore. So happy to be home. Hopefully it’s for good this time (if my levels drop i.e. tingling in face, I have to go back). They took the stitches out and you can barely notice it!! I’m pissed! Once the scabs are gone I’ll post a pic. Wow I think that’s the first time I’ve posted the word scab. Scab scab scab. Haha gross.


luverly pic from gashlycrumb tinies

...must..lift hands....type...for...readers...

Yes I know I haven’t posted in some time and it has been brought to my attention. And yes the only thing I hate more than long periods of no-posts on blogs I like to read is a follow up post about how they haven’t posted in awhile. I mean really.

I do have an excuse. Medical laziness.

Apparently my thyroid levels are lower than they have been in 2 years when I first got it removed. Heh.

But I’m doubling up meds and hope to be bouncing with energy in a few weeks. Also I’m been prescribed chocolate milk and cheese (no really!) to help my calcium. You know on top of the 6 horse pills I take daily.

But I digress. I have TWO good posts forthcoming – one is a harrowing tale of heroism in Niagara Falls.

The other an otherworldly adventure in Toronto that hasn’t yet taken place.

So you can fantasize about the upcoming Claraliciousness while I take a nap.

barfing and more

Ugh, I promised myself I wouldn’t write about this again but too bad here it comes. My calcium has been high again and therefore I’ve been nauseous. It sucks. I’m starving but I can’t eat anything because I will puke it up. The mere smell of food makes me want to die. Plus I think the universe is conspiring against me – I walked by two dead birds and a puddle of puke this morning. It took all my stubbornness to resist barfing. Yeah I don’t have any willpower but I am incredibly stubborn. AND when I got to work – someone was cooking a ham in the microwave! A freaking ham! What is wrong with you people! It’s 8:30 in the morning and you need an entire ham? I swear if I could have stood getting close to it I would have bashed them over the head with it. Sigh. Tonight I am attending Connie and Dave’s wedding and I apologize in advance if I throw up in the middle of the ceremony. I shall endeavour not to, though you have now been forewarned.

Anyhoo there is some good news in here. Jeremy got a new job! Two days after the interview he was offered a job. A real big boy job! How growned up! Goodbye Starbucks! I will miss getting a discount there though, that was quite a little bonus. I won’t say where he will be working, as in this day and age the last thing you want to post about is your job, well in any detail anyway, but I will say I can see the tower from my work's fabulous view and I think it’s quite romantic that I can. Cute! So congratulations baby. Oh and I’m sorry honey that you had to share your exciting news with a barfy entry but that’s life.

innocence lost

Tragedy. Well we’ve been slowly discovering things that are missing or have been disturbed. That’s what happens when a messy place gets robbed. We already know some prescriptions are gone, and though dude/dudette was probably thinking ‘score –who lives here a cancer patient?’ well they would have been right BUT it’s mostly calcium so take that you donghole. You’re going to end up like Rocky with calcified bone and you’ll never be a contender.

But I digress.

This morning I discovered that the vile intruder’s hands had been all over my Tony Leung. Fondling, groping – who knows? Poor Tony his smile seems a bit forced now doesn’t it? Hiding his secret shame. Well not so secret now. It’s okay, the healing can begin. I really should get Andy Lau down here to protect him. That’s what this place needs, heck anyplace – more Andy Lau.

2 drink maximum

Free at last! Yes I’m back, working and playing and inflicting myself upon the rest of the world. Apparently I am very sensitive to my medication and if I get dehydrated I can end up in the hospital. Coma or heart attack, take your pick. Though my heart did feel funny my money's on coma, because it starts with a C. Clara, cancer, calcium, coma – it just fits.

Anyhoo as a result of this I now have a self-imposed 2-drink maximum. And by self-imposed I mean Jeremy imposed. I had to fight for that second drink let me tell you. It occurs to me as I’m writing this, that that means I shall never get drunk again. This is okay by me. I’ve had my fun; it’s a relief really. I do however feel sorry for those of you who never got a chance to see drunk Clara. It’s a shame really. She was something else. Hilarious. She could go from hollering and ordering a round of shots to completely asleep in under 30 seconds. She was susceptible to peer pressure; if you indicated she couldn’t handle another drink she’d have two more, just to prove you wrong. Drunk Clara had a bit of a criminal streak too. Pylons, bar signs, whatever - if it seemed cool (and wasn’t everything?) she’d have to have it. She’d usually instruct others to get it for her, failing that she might attempt it herself. Really though she was good at talking others into doing things, as long as those others were drunk as well. University was a good time for this. Ah well, fare the well drunk Clara. So many good times, good stories. Too bad I don’t remember most of them.

clarapee

I had to go to St. Mike’s this morning for my routine blood work (see below). I was told we were going to start adding urine tests, because I’m taking so much freaking calcium. Okay, well that’s annoying but you gotta do what you gotta do – better that then kidney stones. So I waltz in and give them my forms, and hospital card, which I have all ready to go - old pro that I am by now. And she gives me a jug. A HUGE ORANGE JUG.














This is my jug next to a LITRE water bottle - for scale. Awesome.

“Um, what’s that?”
“It's for urine collection.”
Panic
“Uh, I really don’t have to go that much.”
Wan smile

Okay okay it wasn’t exactly like that. The lab tech gave me the jug and my panic must have shown because her voice softened and she asked if I’d ever had a 24-hour urine test before. Um, no. How could you tell? I think I was gripping the counter at this point, white knuckles belying my distress.

My number one concern?

“Um, do you have a bag for that?

I started laughing as soon as I got in the elevator. I was still laughing while I walked to work, clutching my big orange jug in a brown paper bag. I was sure everyone knew what was in there.

So I have to pee in this thing for 24 hours. I think I’ll start Saturday, as I really don’t relish the thought of carrying this thing with me every time I need a potty break at work today. Here I was worried I would have nothing to do this weekend. The best part, in my mind, is the thought of taking it in on Sunday. Riding the subway with a quart of my own pee sloshing about.

That or having a big jug of pee in my fridge all weekend. I can’t really decide which thought tickles me more.